When you’re in the “in between”

August 15, 2026

This blog post is for anyone navigating the "in between", the messy middle, the pause between chapters, that uncomfortable space where you’ve outgrown your old identity, but also haven’t stepped into a new one…

I am well acquainted with the in between. I felt it as a teenager when my appearance and disconnection from my culture meant I didn’t fully belong in Australia, nor the Philippines. I felt this in between when I decided to study again in my mid-20’s after realising I no longer wanted to work in marketing. I felt it when I booked a solo retreat in Peru at 28, and later in my 30s when I quit my full time job of 8 years to raise my girls at home. And I felt it again and again after starting my business - when it felt like every step forward also required new levels of confidence I’d never had before.

What all these moments have in common is a feeling of unease and uncomfortability. There’s an inner knowing that change must occur, and yet there’s also self doubt. Can I actually be the person I need to be? Do I have what it takes? Is this even possible for me? Can I take the leap and trust it will all work out?

The thing about metamorphosis is, from the outside - it can look quiet, slow, almost like nothing is changing at all. But underneath the surface, alchemy is taking place and everything is changing. You can’t rush this stage, as much as you want to. I think you have to sit it in and be ok with the pause. Because it’s in this space that awareness can be brought to your subconscious thoughts and you become aware of what’s holding you back. Conversely, the voice of your heart can become louder and inspiration can come when you least expect it.

These are some words I wrote last year. It feels fitting to share them here:

A caterpillar’s journey to butterfly is nothing short of miraculous. A tiny being, spending its first moments confined to one space, one tree…nourishing its body for its inevitable transformation. One day, it’s decided - a chrysalis must form. Inside, everything collapses, disassembles and releases. Everything is changing, growing and rebuilding. With time and patience, a crack forms… light enters, and slowly a new body emerges. A pause… an inhale, an exhale. It’s time to release all that was and prepare for the very first flight. For this new version. For the dreams that can be birthed with new eyes and a fresh perspective. And soon it's discovered, there was never just one tree… but an entire fucking forest.

When I’m in the space in between, I tend to follow the same formula:

Rest
Go within (journal)
Seek support to move through blocks / limiting beliefs

My herbalism teacher recently said healing only happens through rest - when the parasympathetic system is activated. But as a society, we place so much value in doing, creating and earning. Resting is often only reserved for when we’re sick.

When I allow myself to rest (and by rest I mean get 8 hours of sleep and consciously listen to what my body needs throughout the day) - my heart is easier to hear. When I go within and journal, I have more clarity on how to move through the pause. In the past, I have sought support in the form of craniosacral therapy, energy work and traditional talk therapy. These modalities have helped me clear and release old beliefs, and also regulate my nervous system, so I have the capacity to step into a new version of myself.

These are some journal prompts that have supported me during such times, and I hope they offer you some solace too.

How does my body feel right now and what does it need?
How can I best support myself? Can I send compassion, love and kindness to myself?
If my best friend was experiencing this, what advice would I have for them?
What does my higher self / heart want me to know?
Who do I need to become in this next phase of life?
What is stopping me from being this version now?
What in my life needs to change?
What do I need to let go of?
Is there anyone I can reach out to for support? (In the areas of mental, physical, spiritual and energetic health)
Is there anywhere in my life that I am seeking external validation? If so, how might this be impacting my ability to be who I want to be?
Is there anything I’m afraid of?
If I didn’t care what anyone thought, what would I do differently?
What if it’s less about becoming someone new, and more about returning to my true self? Who is my true self?
How does this future version of me relate to the world? What do they wear? What do they do? How do they show up? What does their day look like? How would people describe them?
What would happen if nothing changed and I continued living as I am?
How can I acknowledge and celebrate the past versions of myself, and how far I’ve come?
What beliefs do I hold around rest? Can I give myself permission to rest when I need it? How can I invite more rest in my life? Who can I reach out to for help? What can I say ‘no’ to?
Imagine you have crossed the threshold and are now the version of you that has done “the thing”. Write a letter as your future self to current you. What do you need to know? What is your next step to move forward?
What has my entire life journey thus far taught me? Is there a common theme or thread that continues to show up throughout my life?
If I truly trusted that all was going to work out, what would I do? How would I spend my days?